THE AVENGERS SUMMARY: PART 1
- Nick Fury: We have this unstable thing called the Baccarat or whatever and you can tell it has unlimited energy because it GLOWS
- Loki: Hey guys I'm back did you miss me
- Hawkeye: I did a little
- Loki: K let's see what this spear or whatever does
- Spear or whatever: BAZAM MOTHERFUCKERS
- Loki: Right I'll be taking your Baccarat your scientist guy and your sexiest agent
- Nick Fury: Hey so we need to do that Avenger thing now
- Agent Coulson: That might take a really long time
- Nick Fury: Whatever do it in montage
- Bruce Banner: I'm the cuddliest version of the Hulk
- Capt. Amuricur: Check out my sweet ass
- Black Widow: Check out my boobs they're the only one's you'll see in this movie
- Iron Man: When I made that suit I had no idea it would eventually be a cockblock
- Hawkeye: I'm evil rn bbl
- Thor: I'm in Asgard atm
- Agent Coulson: Hey Captain so I may have caressed you while you were chillin' in a chunk of ice also I designed a costume for you do you want to be friends can I take a picture with you can I touch your abs seriously just lift your shirt for a second so I can touch them
- Loki: I don't always dress like a human to be inconspicuous but when I do I immediately attack a German official in the middle of a party
- Capt. Amuricur: We interrupt this program to bring you AMERICA
- Iron Man: Sup Captain
- Everyone: GAAAAAAAAAY
- LATER, IN A PLANE
- Thor: BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOhug
- Loki: Thor technically brohug doesn't apply because we're not even related
- Thor: You'll always be my brother, Loki-chan. Now allow me to look deep into your eyes and invade your intimate personal space with my beard
- Everyone: GAAAAAAAAAAY
- Iron Man: IRON GLOMP
- Thor: You wanna go motherfucker let's break the forest
- Smokey the Bear: But Thor only you can prevent forest fires
- Capt. Amuricur: GUYS STAWP IT
- Loki: Eatspopcorn.gif
- BACK AT THE FLOATING CASTLE LEGION OF DOOM
- Bruce Banner: Sup
- Iron Man: Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my number so call me maybe
- Everyone: Shit now what the fuck do we ship
- AFTER MUCH BANTER
- Capt. Amuricur: What the fuck you're making nukes you nuke-makers
- Bruce Banner: I am slightly ticked off
- Iron Man: I think you should hulk out
- Capt. Amuricur: Shut up tony or I'll invade your personal space
- Iron Man: Not if I invade yours first
- Capt. Amuricur: I am gonna fight you so hard later
- Iron Man: You smell like justice
- Everyone: GAAAAAAAAAAAY
- Hawkeye: Still evil here
- EXPLOSIONS OCCUR
- Bruce Banner: It's not easy being green
- Loki: I am escaping from my cage now
- Thor: BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOhug oh shit
- Iron Man: Fixing things with science
- Capt. Amuricur: Assisting with ab-power
- Hawkeye: Fucking shit up with Arrows
- Agent Coulson: Hey I'm about to be badass I hope Loki doesn't take me from behind teehee oh shit
- Loki: I take people no other way
- Loki: Lates Onee-san
- Nick Fury: No Agent you can't die I don't know how to fill out paperwork
- Agent Coulson: Tell Captain America.... I wrote.... twilight fanfiction.... about us.... shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
- Nick Fury:
- Agent Coulson: iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
- Nick Fury:
- Agent Coulson: iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit
- Everyone: He was a good man. He was a good agent. And The Avengers couldn't have existed without his sacrifice.
- Everyone: Also GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY